Well here it is, January 10, 2011, and I am circling. Having recently emerged from the fog of my second chemo treatment, I am now clear minded and well enough to reflect upon this experience and almost have the nerve to talk about it.
Why a blog? The first reason would be to reply, inform and deeply thank all those who have walked with me in the valley of the shadow. Whether near or far, “in the know” or not, I have felt an amazing amount of solidarity and compassion from so many of you. For this, I am humbled and grateful. The second reason would be to help me get a bit of distance and perspective on what it means to have my mortality stare me directly in the eye once again. There is never a time when any of us are far from death, so why not look back at it and see what it has to teach us? I think it might have something to do with freedom from fear. More on this later…
Still I circle. Circling the drain? Well yes, that too, but more immediately circling this blog project. This is not an easy thing for me. Although I am quite open about my passions and opinions, I am loathe to talk about personal pain. I suppose it feels like an admission of weakness or might look like a plea for pity, or worse yet, could become a bog of narcissistic self absorption. Still, writing about this journey into darkness seems worth the risks if any of us, even for a moment, can catch the far off tune of redemption song clear and sweet.
So walk with me, if you will, down a darksome road and listen with me for songs in the night. Thanks.
looking forward to hear the revelations from the circling...i think of shadrach, mechach, and abednego circling in that fire with the One with them...peace!
ReplyDeleteoh yeah - and by the way - i blogged about YOU last time i blogged. :)
ReplyDeleteMary, what a brave and beautiful portrait. Thanks for sharing. I don't think there needs to be any reason to write-- you just do it because you want to, have to, need to. And I hope you continue. Blessings to you and the family, lovely lady.
ReplyDeleteWith love from your former neighbor
Dear Mary, I want to walk with you. Wishing you all the strenght you need. Hugs and good wises from one of your many friends in Norway.
ReplyDeleteTor and I will also walk with you, Mary. We think of you, praying that God will provide all that you need to get through this. We love you, you beautiful woman!
ReplyDeleteMary, I'm sharing your walk with our many interfaith friends here in Hong Kong, so there will be prayers prayed, mantras chanted, bhajans sung and ecstatic dances danced to accompany you on your journey. Rejoice! We love you. And by the way, the Buddhist nuns think your new look is really cool. John
ReplyDeleteMary, just testing my in ability to try new internet things
ReplyDeletePenetrating looks at truth that opens eyes just little wider is found here, my dear friend and great soul Mary. Your words are an important and beautiful expression of truth. By sharing your dark and uncertain walk so honestly, you make others' dark and uncertain walks a little less so, and we love and appreciate you. There is so much to be found here in your words.
ReplyDeleteHi Mary,
ReplyDeleteRay passed this on to me, and I'm so glad to hear from you and about you - and, no, it's not too much about you. What you've said so far is beautiful, and I feel honored that you are sharing. We are always thinking about you and praying for you, Eric, Michael and Andrew on this journey.
Love, Jen